group

i went to my first "group" last night
i cried
i cried hearing the other stories
i cried when they asked me to talk
and i appreciated every second of it
there are other women who have the same feelings i do
who still struggle, 1, 2, 4 ... however many years down the line
and it is ok
they still grieve ...but they live
like the scar
my scar i will carry is still well...open..healing..
i have to take care of my wounds you know
and i am
and i will be able to cope with this one day
i get many emails from people who read this blog, some i dont even know
i get many mixed feelings, words of encouragement, critiscism...
but at the end of the day...its just me and my thoughts...
my memory of him
my hopes of new memories to be made with him
i cant imagine a day that i wont thing of him
or a day that i dont cry for him
i love him
and everyday of my life i will regret this decision in a way
regret
story of my life
but in another way...i wont....
seeing them with him, knowing the life they have given him..
well
only time will tell...