Thursday, February 2, 2012

This day never gets easier!!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

lucas is 2

what a beautiful baby...
i want to see him ... play
love him
happy birthday aiden

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

cant sleep

trying to explain feelings like these to someone is bullshit
two years now and the second i fall asleep..
i feel it
i hear the door shut
hear the wheels of the babys hopspital bed wheel away
wanting to run and grab him
feeling his breath on my face...
my tears..
i want to just away from this day
hey everyone
its ground hog day
and aidens day
the lump returns..
the hurt in my heart is here
i long to hear him laugh and still makes my whole body ache that i am not the one holding him when he cries..
happy birthday aiden
aiden william
lucas aiden
you are missed.......................


Monday, February 1, 2010


still ...
still today i am bothered
by memories of the hospital
still ..
today the feelings flood back
it still hurts
but happy birthday aiden william
i love you

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

feb 2

lucas is turning 2
feb second
the dads had mentioned me coming for his party
i am fine with it..until it gets closer
then i tense up
i am sure the hellos and goodbyes will get easier with time
but saying goodbye is soooooooooo hard
he is a cutie tho..his laugh
i hear it when i look at his photos
i miss him

Sunday, December 27, 2009

christmas 2009

here is lucas
just gorgeous!!!
merry christmas