good times are a comin...i can feel it

i havent heard from the dads in a while
i geuss working and taking care of aiden ...well i know how being with the kiddos can be
i have been trying not to think of him
focusing on my kids
my house ....
today i actually stripped the kitchen
scrubbed
yesterday i began the excercise routine
i havent ran since last hmmmmmmmmmmmm..... august?
ahem
yeah
so
i woke up completely miserable sunday
decided that sunday was the day
found out that i could run the track at good old woody high
off i went
no kids
jareds ipod thingy ( yeah....i dont even have one....mp4.mp3 ... whatever)
lol
so i start off walking..thinking of him
it started to snow
lightly
i was alone there
and i started to run
run
run
and then all of a sudden
out of no where
the tears
do you know how hard it is to cry and run after having a baby
being fat
not being able to breathe and for some reason
i could not for the life of me control the tears....
and let me tell you...i havent even walked for how long
i ran
i got pissed cause everything started to hurt
and usually i would just quit
i ran
i cried
the pain i felt in my legs....
it was good pain
my lungs hurt
and after i couldnt run anymore
i screamed
lmao
yep
i layed in the middle of the soccer field
and let it out
crying
hope no one was trying to come onto the track
..who the hell is this freakish,big ass woman laying and screaming
..anyway
yeah
that was me
my new outlet
fuck being unhealthy..well i havent started changing any foods or anything...
come on people..one step at a time right
and if this means that i get alone time with my thoughts
with no kids
no dj
well, folks..
i may be down to my abercrombie weight in no time

by the way...
i did 2 miles
i cannot walk today
but i did
put collin in the stroller and walked
can anyone say
shin splints
and i feel like someone broke my ribs...

it is a good day
lol