i know you must all be wondering what the hell has happened to me
but i have no news
cause i have not emailed him
not thought...thats a lie
i think of him everyday
but i havent gotten any news since his birthday
and we just couldnt get it together for a visit
and well
in that time
i just realized that i am not ready
for any of it
in one way i want more than anything to see him
hold him
smell him
and in another
nothing at all
and i dont know what end of the spectrum to travel
i seem to have went to depressed..to hating everyone around me
see
i really havent hear from anyone family memeber since my sons birthday
i mean
whatever
i just am better off alone like this
no one to aggrevate
i want to see aiden
and i am scared
too scared to do it
i have been a coward a lot of my life
why stop now
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I came across your page and read a few of you enteries and i just wanted to tell you that you are a truly couragous person and i thank you for putting your words out there for ppl like me to get caught up in.
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